Saturday, August 18, 2007

Sittin' on the dock of the border....

So, it is Saturday morning and regular readers will note that I almost never post anything on the weekend. Today is special. I am on the road back from Canada, about to make the crossing at Fort Erie in to Buffalo, New York. And yes, I am driving. I am about to enter the "no man's land" that is the border area between Canada and the United States of America. It is 12:14. Why all this detail? Well, for those who missed the memo, entering the United States is no longer the speedy procedure it used to be. In fact, from where I am sitting, there is over 4 KM of backed up, unmoving traffic that would make rush hour in Washington, DC seem like a speedy affair. Did I mention this is Saturday?

By comparison, traffic is flowing quickly and efficiently from the US into Canada, including the payment of a $3.00 toll charge for using the bridge over the Niagara River. So what is the delay? Well, I am not really sure. There are two lanes into the US, compared with one into Canada, so it is not an issue of lanes available. There seems to be a steady stream of cars coming into Canada and at least four inspectors open. Delays on the Canadian side seem to be no more than a couple of minutes. Is it the shear volume of people wanting to get into the United States? Complex border entry issues? Lack of "official documentation?" I do not know. In the last five minutes we have gone six car lengths. A couple of dozen metres.

I mentioned there were three lanes over the bridge, two into the US and one into Canada? There are no less than four lanes of traffic merging into those two (unmoving) lanes and a guy from Customs walking along telling people to drive on the shoulder, completely ignoring the fact that he is creating more lanes that have to merge into the limited capacity of the bridge. In this case, three lanes into one where we are situated and two lanes into one from the duty-free entrance.

More than 10 minutes has passed, we have gone less than three-tenths of a mile.

We can see the abutment of the bridge. All the lane markings have disappeared and the great three-lane-into-one-merge has begun. Bets on how often an accident occurs here? Elapsed time, 15 minutes. Distance traveled. 4/10ths of a mile. By the way, the "zipper" theory of merging, so heavily endorsed in Washington by those who really do not know any better does not hold up when thirty cars are all trying to merge into the space of one car. This is not funny. If we were moving any faster than my late great-grandmother with her walker used to move, I would be very concerned for the health of my automobile. Total elapsed time, 20 minutes. Total distance traveled, 1/2 of one mile.

We are in the queue for the last of the merges. Three lanes into two. Trucks, buses, RVs, minivans, cars. Everyone has to play nice if we are going to get onto the bridge and the trucks are supposed to stay in the far lane.

12:36: We are on the bridge.

12:38: I expect there will be DHS agents waiting on the US side of the border. There is a car in front of us with Iowa plates on it and they are taking pictures out the window. Surely that is illegal on several levels. Taking pictures at a border crossing, of a bridge. Hey, I am just hoping it does not fall into the river. Posted speed limit, 50 km/h. Actual speed of motion....well, zero, with occasional gasps to 1 km/h.

12:41: Still in Canada. Border in sight, 1/2 mile.

12:43: At this rate, they will have to install restrooms on the bridge....

12:44: We are astride the border, or possibly on the US side. They have taken down the flags that used to indicate where it actually was. Probably for National Security reasons.

12:46: I can see Customs and Immigration. They are no less than 10 deep at each check point. At least there are 20 check points open.

12:50: The delay seems to be caused by the crossing. Average time is upwards of three minutes a vehicle. Still ten cars from the gate. At least this time we did not have to pay a toll. They are pushing the new border crossing certification cards (Nexus) not to be confused with the law database (lexus-nexus).

13:03: We are next.

13:05: We are underway, headed south. I do not know why it took so long for such a short interrogation, but that is what happened. Next stop, Washington, DC.

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